I’ve moved and you are invited!

Join me and a tribe of others at my new home. My door is always open. The address is www.jentrulson.com – please, no gifts, only your presence is requested!!

xo

Pissed Off At The World – Take 1

Ever felt annoyed, angry, irritated? It was an October night. I woke up at 2:15 am pissed off at the world. At 3 am I got out of bed mad, no angry. People, friends and family often think I’m always smiles and sunshine or pleasure and possibilities. I won’t lie – that’s usually what you get. Not today, not now.

I’m MAD…

• I’m not feeling “connected” as I want in my primary relationships
• my 39 year old cousin (we are more like sisters!) got diagnosed with a brain aneurysm two years ago and is now 650 miles away living life half paralyzed and with neurological deficiencies
• she is no longer able to raise her 4 daughters or laugh until all hours of the night with me or look at me lovingly when I’m being stubborn
• my dad is gone and he never got to meet my husband, see the woman I am or meet his grandkids and be a grandpa
• I don’t have my grandparents to visit in Montana for a weekend getaway to clear my mind, they have both passed

I’m mad that life doesn’t feel the way I want it to… RIGHT NOW!

Then I realize, I’m avoiding my feelings. Avoiding sadness, loneliness and fear and it’s all showing up as anger.

“When we run from our feelings, they follow us. Everywhere.” ~Martha Beck

The beauty of being pissed off at the world is… it’s an invitation.

“All problems are invitations to look deeper and live higher.” ~Alan Cohen

Invite your anger, fear, loneliness and grief. What? Yes!

It’s natural to want to push it away, run from it and notice the voice in your head saying “I don’t want to feel that way, I just want to be happy.” I feel your pain, that was exactly how I was feeling at 3 am!

The loneliness was the scariest part. I felt like I was walking down a road I had already walked and I didn’t want to go there again. What was I doing about it? Nothing. Well, that and, avoiding. Which reminds me of another famous quote by Albert Einstein…

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Insane is exactly what I felt like, awake at 3 am, angry and unhappy. To get to a good clean happy you must stop doing the same thing over and over again. Feel your feelings, I dare you, try it! Lean in and feel them.

Invite the ‘icky’ feelings. That’s technical talk by the way. Now ask why…

“Why am I pissed off at the world?” Go ahead, say it, let it out. I already shared mine!

Then ask, “What am I not honoring?”

I’ve learned when I’m mad or angry it’s (100% of the time) at myself.

• I am not honoring my true inner being, my feelings.
• I am not honoring my boundaries.
• I am not honoring my values.

Interesting… I was falling back into old patterns and habits. I was feeding others wants and needs, neglecting my own. I was not speaking up.

I was not honoring the things that feed my soul… my daily practice. Daily I create an intention, meditate, notice abundance and flow throughout my day, connect and communicate with higher beings. I end my day with writing in my gratitude journal. Yes, I let this daily practice slip and put others needs before me. With this realization I felt myself reconnecting to the divine within and around me.

I felt the anger crumble. There I was. No resistance. Peace. Pleasure. Possibilities. Sunshine in the middle of the night and a smile.

What do you do to honor and feed your soul?

What turns you on?

As I wrote this I thought – yes, Yes, YES, Meg Ryan style in When Harry Met Sally. I love life (disclaimer: most days!) and the mystery of each day!! Getting up curious and full of wonder is key. It’s like freakin’ Christmas every day – what will you unwrap, discover, do, embrace, experience, enjoy, endure? Life seriously turns me on!

What else turns me on…

Every day you have a choice. Drudge through another day or open your eyes – think differently, feel differently, act differently and see the world differently… even though nothing around you has changed!!

If you have the same damn thoughts,
you are going to have the same damn day.
~Meadow Devor

Your turn…

A weeks worth… reverb#10

What is REVERB#10? Brene Brown describes it as this:

REVERB#10 is an online initiative that encourages participants to reflect on this year and manifest what’s next. It’s an opportunity to retreat and consider the reverberations of your year past, and those that you’d like to create in the year ahead. 

This year, 31 authors were asked to write prompts for Reverb10. My prompt (Brene Brown) is today (see the bottom of the list)!

A couple of my favorite people… Patti Digh and Brene Brown have participated in REVERB#10.

Patti Digh

Brene Brown

I LOVE both of these women ~ they are authentic, generous and passionate about their messages. You can find out more about Patti Digh at www.37days.com and Brene Brown at www.ordinarycourage.com – have fun and prepare to be inspired!! Both have books too… you know that makes me giddy!

I took a shot at reverb’ing…

December 21 - Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Author: Jenny Blake)

Trust yourself.

December 22 – How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? (Author: Tara Hunt)

I traveled approximately once a month – mostly with girlfriends and / or family!! I want more of the same for 2011. Already have 6 trips on the calendar for 2011… AZ, HI, CA, NV, NY, WA. Planes, trains or automobiles – I love em all! side note: train trips must be day rides

December 23 – Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why? (Author: Becca Wilcott)

Jennifer Robin. Which really is my first and middle name. I’m feeling reminiscent at the moment missing my aunt Robin who I haven’t seen in over a year and thinking about my mom who loved Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin. I’m just enjoying Jennifer Robin rolling off my tongue and the memories it brings.

December 24 – What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead? (Author: Kate Inglis)

The moment… personal.  I will carry it forward by continuing to use my voice, speak my truth with love and compassion and letting others own their feelings. In two words: live courageous.

December 25 – Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you. (Author: Tracey Clark)

Sitting on the shores of the Washington Coast with Dave and the kids on a surprise summer trip – the fresh air in my face, natural hair and face, bare feet, kids laughing and running around, loving life, being me, experiencing, embracing and sharing the moments!!

December 26 – What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul? (Author: Elise Marie Collins)

As if being surrounded by family for a holiday dinner out at Canlis that my generous father-in-law treated us to wasn’t enough, I tried sablefish for the first time. Oh. My. This white fish literally melted in my mouth and noises escaped me like Bill Murray in the movie What About Bob.  Accompanied by a bite of my husbands waygu tenderloin that was cut by a fork, I’m pretty sure I began floating. Oh yes, and the fresh oyster shooters that started it all off – definitely a soul pleasing evening!

December 27 – And my prompt! Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?(Author: Brene Brown)

Going to Denny’s with my daughter’s in the middle of the night. Just because.

Reflecting is one of my favorite things to do. A gift I’ve learned to give myself over the years. Instead of just thinking about my answers, actually writing them down, spending some time with the questions and connecting with what comes out… unedited, not judged, just noticing and be-ing amused at times.

Your turn, share an answer, response or memory that came to you when reading the questions above!

Kisses – French, Butterfly, Eskimo and Hershey’s Dark Chocolate

I believe…

• love is all you need
• girlfriends are a MUST
• the color of fall leaves are mesmerizing
• laughter daily is a requirement
• I am the luckiest mom (I can say that, I’m not at home)
• my marriage keeps getting better (is that possible? must be!)
• people can change because they want to
• life is fascinating
• curiosity is essential
• my dad is smiling down watching me
• I get ‘naturally high’ connecting with like-minded people
• music changes my being
• the angels are bowling when I hear thunder
• in kisses – french, butterfly, eskimo, hersheys dark chocolate, hello, good-bye, good-morning, good-night
• in saying ‘thank you’ just because
• in me
• in you
• in us
• in making the world a better place by practicing love and compassion daily
• life is to experience

I wanted to share a little something about myself with the participants of a recent Falling for GREAT teleclass. Organically the above came out.

I love when you don’t think, edit or judge. We do way too much of that unconsciously.

What happens when you put a piece of paper in front of you and write “I believe…”?

I also believe taking the time to sit down and notice what just rolls off the pen onto the paper (or maybe off the fingers onto the computer screen) is a step towards connecting with your essential self. The part of you that’s clear on what light’s your fire and brings joy to your days.

I invite you to create a space to sit down and write what you believe, your essential self is the best!! She can rock your world (if you listen) and who doesn’t want their world rocked… in the best possible way EVER?!

ps~ keep your list handy and keep adding, I do!

Sunday Grateful 8 ~ 10.17.10

Another week of deep self-reflection. I find myself grateful for…

1. My trip to nowhere (check out the pic!). Hopping in the car and heading towards the mountains to reconnect with my inner self, destination unknown.
2. Reading with my daughter and getting lost in the books story.  *sigh, smile*
3. My daughters first date.  *sweetness*
4. Crisp air, blue skies and sunshine.  *heaven on earth*
5. The rescue of the Chilean miners *tears* – what a miracle.
6. Listening to my husband talk about his fishing trip.  *peace*
7. Family dinners at the kitchen table.  *connection*
8. Writing…

What can you do this week to connect with your inner self?
Write, exercise, meditate, sing out loud, journal, read, sleep, ???

Sunday Grateful 8 ~ 10.10.10

I’m back to posting Sunday’s grateful 8, my weekly gratitude list. As I take a deep breath (care to take one with me) and reflect, it’s been an emotional week. Howeva, I find the corners of my mouth rise… I smile. Even in the midst of pain I’ve always been able to see, locate, feel gratitude and pleasure. This week I’m grateful for…

1. Three fun (playful), crazy (fence jumping), chewed (my favorite gold wedges) and loving (compassionate – oh his eyes) years with our beloved Sundance. We will miss you Sunny!
2. Writing a blog post (after a dry spell)! Permanent Pleasure, did you see it?
3. A night out with friends to see comedian Jim Gaffigan – laughed non-stop.
4. Met up with an awesome new coach, Christy Lambert, to discuss her idea of a Gratitude workshop – one of my favorite things!! Loved meeting her in person. Now we are creating a Gratitude tele-class for November!!
5. Having the pleasure of working with a group of phenomenal women in my Expose Yourself teleclass.
6. Being featured in Jessica Steward’s Admiration Society – I’m still without words because I so admire her!! Feel honored JS!
7. My daughters and their friends – I love the conversations we have about pre-teen and teen life. Young girls are such a gift. I feel fortunate to have open discussions with my daughters and son. (oops, that’s kind of 2 but i am only counting it as 1 – because i make my own rules)
8. Cleaning out drawers, closets, cars… it’s amazing what opens up creatively when I create more space.

Grateful? Share one (or more) thing(s) on your gratitude list, comment below!!

Permanent Pleasure

What have you lived too long without? I’ve lived too long without… pleasure.

Definition of pleasure:
1. The state or feeling of being pleased or gratified.
2. A source of enjoyment or delight.
3. Amusement, diversion, or worldly enjoyment.
4. Sensual gratification or indulgence.
5. One’s preference or wish.

I recently read how we are taught to work hard and grind. How many times have you heard it… nothing is accomplished without hard work and sacrifice. I don’t recall being taught to enjoy and take pleasure in life. In fact, that was something you got after you worked your ass off, climbed the ladder and did what you were told ~ in other words, that’s what happens when you get old and/or retire. If that’s the case, I still have a good number of years left before I get to enjoy life’s pleasures. What? No! I call bullshit.

I’m living with my eyes wide open. Life is to be felt.

Do I believe you have to work hard. No.
I believe you can choose to work hard (if that feels good) and then you can choose to play even harder, as my friend put it.
I believe you can do both, at the same time (look ma, no hands!)… work hard AND experience pleasure.
Why does it have to be one or the other?
I choose both!

The italians know how to enjoy life, at least the ones that I have witnessed. They laugh, they live, they are loud. They aren’t afraid to tell you what they think. They embrace the experience of life. In fact, my sister in law recently visited Italy. While dining out she couldn’t believe the check was never presented to them. Come to find out, you have to ask for a check as they consider your visit a social occasion to be lingered and loved. Catch this tidbit I found on the web:
Getting the bill in an Italian restaurant can actually be an ordeal. Unlike many American restaurants, Italian restaurants are usually in no hurry to get rid of you (and most Italians would react very badly to a restaurant trying to rush them out). I don’t know why, but it can take forever to get the bill. Maybe it’s because only the restaurant owner has access to the cash register, and he/she may be busy chatting with regular customers.

Pleasure in Italian.

So how can a lover of life, like myself, not love this kind of thinking and doing?!! This is exactly why I tattooed ‘il piacere’, the gorgeous italian translation for pleasure, on the inside of my right wrist. Pleasure embraces living with all five senses. It’s about creating pleasure in everything I do. Now I have beautiful reminder, thank you Dale!

What does pleasure mean to me? It means embracing, enjoying, experiencing life. It’s about laughing out loud, connecting with people, feeling sexy, savoring what I put in mouth, seeing the beauty that surrounds me and leaves me in awe every day. Yes, every day! It’s moving my body because it feels so good, loving with my whole heart, singing out loud, dancing in my car, helping others and letting others help me. It’s about taking care of me, saying yes to me and let my cup runneth over to others. It’s about feeling life.

You have a choice.

What do you choose to embrace, experience and enjoy daily?

You don’t have to tattoo it on your wrist but do share by leaving a comment below!! If you don’t know, what would it be for today… if you had to guess.

ps~ This is your life. Live it. Love it. Feel it.
pss~ If you want help, I’m here. It gives me pleasure to work with you, you who want to embrace, experience and enjoy life to it’s fullest!

It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth — and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up — that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.
~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

This Changes Everything

Please enjoy this post from my friend and colleague Maura Captain

What if the following thoughts or beliefs are not always true?

I have to work hard to succeed.
I should be getting more done.
There’s a right way to do this.
I need people to like me.
When other people like me, it means I am smart, talented, funny, worthy, attractive.
My kid is failing; I must have gone wrong somewhere.
I need to keep my kids happy & safe.
I don’t measure up.
I can’t ask for help.
Making money and looking good is more important than feeling good.
This will never end.
I will waste my time & education if I…quit this job that sucks the life out of me…stay home with my kids…switch careers.
When I…lose weight…get married…have money…have kids…leave spouse…get rid of kids…life will be good.
I can’t…I have to…I should…I shouldn’t…

How would you feel if it was impossible to even think those thoughts?

And what if the following are true?

There is no test to pass, no race to win.
The problems that have stumped me will one day bring joy.
I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
My kid will learn when he learns.
My kid needs this experience.
There is more than enough to go around.
I am guided; I cannot fail, and the best is yet to come.
I need me to like me.
It’s temporary.
There is something perfect about this.
Even the hard truth is something I can handle.
Accepting the present moment is where my power and peace are.

How would you feel?

Yeah, me too.

“It is the truth that offers us this freedom…At that point, we will have dismantled the biggest lie, the most profound denial of all: the denial of our own inestimable power and value.” –Martha Beck in The Joy Diet

Photo by Geoff Captain

Surprise!

Surprise:
tr.v. sur·prised, sur·pris·ing, sur·pris·es
1. To encounter suddenly or unexpectedly; take or catch unawares.
2. To attack or capture suddenly and without warning.
3. To cause to feel wonder, astonishment, or amazement, as at something unanticipated.
4. a. To cause (someone) to do or say something unintended.
4. b. To elicit or detect through surprise.

n.  1. The act of surprising or the condition of being surprised.

I’m hooked on surprises! My father in law used to say “Jen, you get excited about the smallest things, it’s so fun to watch.”  I found I lost my excitement for life during my late 20′s, early 30′s.  My love, excitement and passion for life has been rediscovered over the last 5 years and I pretty much feel as though I’ve died and gone to heaven – heaven on earth, what could be better.  I notice now that when I’m in a slump, rut or irritated – I’m forgetting to notice the good stuff and naturally get excited.  It’s time to visit the memory bank… can you recall a time you surprised someone?  What was their reaction?  How did you feel?  Can you recall a time when you were surprised?  Visit it with all 5 senses, how did it look, taste, smell, sound and feel like?  And people, I’m talking about fun, positive, happy surprises here!

Last Thursday we surprised our daughter and I realized… I want to surprise people more! It’s fun, adds excitement and is priceless how it feels for them and myself.  These are moments and experiences you get to keep forever.  Here is our surprise story…

Our youngest turns double digits this year.  Yep, the Trulson Tribe is growing up (in age that is).  Our youngest has begged and pleaded to visit The Great Wolf Lodge (TGWL), Washington’s largest indoor water park, since it opened approximately 3 years ago.  An hour and a half drive from our home we decided this was the year AND we’d surprise her.  We passed The Great Wolf Lodge on a trip to Oregon last week.  I thought she was going to hyperventilate in the car – seeing it for the first time with her own two eyes made her want it even more!

Kate: Please, please, please can we go there for my birthday!!!
Mom: I’ll call and see if they have any rooms.  (giggle giggle – I already had a room booked!).  Sorry sweetheart, it’s summer and they are already booked.
Kate: Can we keep checking to see if someone cancels?  Please, I’ll even call!
Mom: That’s ok, you don’t need to call, I’ll keep checking.

Here is where the surprise takes place… We arrive home from 4 days in Oregon on Wednesday.  Thursday noon Daddy comes home early.

Daddy:  Who wants to go spend the night near the ocean?
Kids (confused): What?
Daddy: Let’s pack our bags and head to the ocean, get a hotel room and spend the night!
Kids: Ok!

A quick packing of the bags and we are on our way south towards TGWL aka the ocean.  The kids are preoccupied so don’t notice the exit that says The Great Wolf Lodge when I announce I have to use the bathroom.  We get off the exit and are great at finding a reason to drive down the road and into the parking lot of…  The Great Wolf Lodge.  That’s when the shallow breathing begins to take place in the back seat.  Little giggles appear.  ”I knew it!” “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it, we are at TGWL!”  ”This is the best birthday EVER”  Smiles across the board.

I LOVE surprises!!

One of the best surprises I received?  My aging gramps living two states away was invited to our house for Thanksgiving.  He and I were very close and he said “honey, I wish I could come but I just can’t manage long road trips”   Gramps knew I totally understood and didn’t expect him to make it.  Thanksgiving Day we were preparing and I happened to walk out our front door.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw a car approaching, wait, it looks like my grampas car.  My reaction was the same as my daughters – shallow breathing, oh my gosh, no way, it can’t be, could it?  The license plate is Montana.  I look down and look back up – yep, I’m not seeing things!  And wait, there are two people in the car.  It’s not just gramps but my cousin too – unbelievable!  I can’t believe it!!  I scream, running to the car.

What are your surprise stories? I’D LOVE TO HEAR THEM!

I was serious when I said I LOVE surprises.  YOU are part of my tribe.  Watch out, you may just get surprised!!