I’ve moved and you are invited!

jen trulson love life be you logo

Join me and a tribe of others at my new home. My door is always open. The address is http://www.jentrulson.com – please, no gifts, only your presence is requested!!

xo

Pissed Off At The World – Take 1

Ever felt annoyed, angry, irritated? It was an October night. I woke up at 2:15 am pissed off at the world. At 3 am I got out of bed mad, no angry. People, friends and family often think I’m always smiles and sunshine or pleasure and possibilities. I won’t lie – that’s usually what you get. Not today, not now.

I’m MAD…

  • I’m not feeling “connected” as I want in my primary relationships
  • my 39 year old cousin (we are more like sisters!) got diagnosed with a brain aneurysm two years ago and is now 650 miles away living life half paralyzed and with neurological deficiencies
  • she is no longer able to raise her 4 daughters or laugh until all hours of the night with me or look at me lovingly when I’m being stubborn
  • my dad is gone and he never got to meet my husband, see the woman I am or meet his grandkids and be a grandpa
  • I don’t have my grandparents to visit in Montana for a weekend getaway to clear my mind, they have both passed

I’m mad that life doesn’t feel the way I want it to… RIGHT NOW!

Then I realize, I’m avoiding my feelings. Avoiding sadness, loneliness and fear and it’s all showing up as anger.

“When we run from our feelings, they follow us. Everywhere.” ~Martha Beck

The beauty of being pissed off at the world is… it’s an invitation.

“All problems are invitations to look deeper and live higher.” ~Alan Cohen

Invite your anger, fear, loneliness and grief. What? Yes!

It’s natural to want to push it away, run from it and notice the voice in your head saying “I don’t want to feel that way, I just want to be happy.” I feel your pain, that was exactly how I was feeling at 3 am!

The loneliness was the scariest part. I felt like I was walking down a road I had already walked and I didn’t want to go there again. What was I doing about it? Nothing. Well, that and, avoiding. Which reminds me of another famous quote by Albert Einstein…

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Insane is exactly what I felt like, awake at 3 am, angry and unhappy. To get to a good clean happy you must stop doing the same thing over and over again. Feel your feelings, I dare you, try it! Lean in and feel them.

Invite the ‘icky’ feelings. That’s technical talk by the way. Now ask why…

“Why am I pissed off at the world?” Go ahead, say it, let it out. I already shared mine!

Then ask, “What am I not honoring?”

I’ve learned when I’m mad or angry it’s (100% of the time) at myself.

  • I am not honoring my true inner being, my feelings.
  • I am not honoring my boundaries.
  • I am not honoring my values.

Interesting… I was falling back into old patterns and habits. I was feeding others wants and needs, neglecting my own. I was not speaking up.

I was not honoring the things that feed my soul… my daily practice. Daily I create an intention, meditate, notice abundance and flow throughout my day, connect and communicate with higher beings. I end my day with writing in my gratitude journal. Yes, I let this daily practice slip and put others needs before me. With this realization I felt myself reconnecting to the divine within and around me.

I felt the anger crumble. There I was. No resistance. Peace. Pleasure. Possibilities. Sunshine in the middle of the night and a smile.

What do you do to honor and feed your soul?

What turns you on?

Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally

As I wrote this I thought – yes, Yes, YES, Meg Ryan style in When Harry Met Sally. I love life (disclaimer: most days!) and the mystery of each day!! Getting up curious and full of wonder is key. It’s like freakin’ Christmas every day – what will you unwrap, discover, do, embrace, experience, enjoy, endure? Life seriously turns me on!

What else turns me on…

What turns me on wordle

Every day you have a choice. Drudge through another day or open your eyes – think differently, feel differently, act differently and see the world differently… even though nothing around you has changed!!

If you have the same damn thoughts,
you are going to have the same damn day.
~Meadow Devor

Your turn…

A weeks worth… reverb#10

What is REVERB#10? Brene Brown describes it as this:

REVERB#10 is an online initiative that encourages participants to reflect on this year and manifest what’s next. It’s an opportunity to retreat and consider the reverberations of your year past, and those that you’d like to create in the year ahead. 

This year, 31 authors were asked to write prompts for Reverb10. My prompt (Brene Brown) is today (see the bottom of the list)!

A couple of my favorite people… Patti Digh and Brene Brown have participated in REVERB#10.

Patti Digh 37 days

Patti Digh

Brene Brown Ordinary Courage

Brene Brown

I LOVE both of these women ~ they are authentic, generous and passionate about their messages. You can find out more about Patti Digh at www.37days.com and Brene Brown at www.ordinarycourage.com – have fun and prepare to be inspired!! Both have books too… you know that makes me giddy!

I took a shot at reverb’ing…

December 21 - Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Author: Jenny Blake)

Trust yourself.

December 22 – How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? (Author: Tara Hunt)

I traveled approximately once a month – mostly with girlfriends and / or family!! I want more of the same for 2011. Already have 6 trips on the calendar for 2011… AZ, HI, CA, NV, NY, WA. Planes, trains or automobiles – I love em all! side note: train trips must be day rides ;)

December 23 – Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why? (Author: Becca Wilcott)

Jennifer Robin. Which really is my first and middle name. I’m feeling reminiscent at the moment missing my aunt Robin who I haven’t seen in over a year and thinking about my mom who loved Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin. I’m just enjoying Jennifer Robin rolling off my tongue and the memories it brings.

December 24 – What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead? (Author: Kate Inglis)

The moment… personal.  I will carry it forward by continuing to use my voice, speak my truth with love and compassion and letting others own their feelings. In two words: live courageous.

December 25 – Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you. (Author: Tracey Clark)

ordinary moment feeling extraordinarySitting on the shores of the Washington Coast with Dave and the kids on a surprise summer trip – the fresh air in my face, natural hair and face, bare feet, kids laughing and running around, loving life, being me, experiencing, embracing and sharing the moments!!

December 26 – What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul? (Author: Elise Marie Collins)

As if being surrounded by family for a holiday dinner out at Canlis that my generous father-in-law treated us to wasn’t enough, I tried sablefish for the first time. Oh. My. This white fish literally melted in my mouth and noises escaped me like Bill Murray in the movie What About Bob.  Accompanied by a bite of my husbands waygu tenderloin that was cut by a fork, I’m pretty sure I began floating. Oh yes, and the fresh oyster shooters that started it all off – definitely a soul pleasing evening!

December 27 – And my prompt! Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?(Author: Brene Brown)

Going to Denny’s with my daughter’s in the middle of the night. Just because.

Reflecting is one of my favorite things to do. A gift I’ve learned to give myself over the years. Instead of just thinking about my answers, actually writing them down, spending some time with the questions and connecting with what comes out… unedited, not judged, just noticing and be-ing amused at times.

Your turn, share an answer, response or memory that came to you when reading the questions above!

Kisses – French, Butterfly, Eskimo and Hershey’s Dark Chocolate

I believe…

  • love is all you needHershey Dark Chocolate Kiss
  • girlfriends are a MUST
  • the color of fall leaves are mesmerizing
  • laughter daily is a requirement
  • I am the luckiest mom (I can say that, I’m not at home)
  • my marriage keeps getting better (is that possible? must be!)
  • people can change because they want to
  • life is fascinating
  • curiosity is essential
  • my dad is smiling down watching me
  • I get ‘naturally high’ connecting with like-minded people
  • music changes my being
  • the angels are bowling when I hear thunder
  • in kisses – french, butterfly, eskimo, hersheys dark chocolate, hello, good-bye, good-morning, good-night
  • in saying ‘thank you’ just because
  • in me
  • in you
  • in us
  • in making the world a better place by practicing love and compassion daily
  • life is to experience

I wanted to share a little something about myself with the participants of a recent Falling for GREAT teleclass. Organically the above came out.

I love when you don’t think, edit or judge. We do way too much of that unconsciously.

What happens when you put a piece of paper in front of you and write “I believe…”?

I also believe taking the time to sit down and notice what just rolls off the pen onto the paper (or maybe off the fingers onto the computer screen) is a step towards connecting with your essential self. The part of you that’s clear on what light’s your fire and brings joy to your days.

I invite you to create a space to sit down and write what you believe, your essential self is the best!! She can rock your world (if you listen) and who doesn’t want their world rocked… in the best possible way EVER?!

ps~ keep your list handy and keep adding, I do!

Sunday Grateful 8 ~ 10.17.10

Another week of deep self-reflection. My trip to nowhereI find myself grateful for…

  1. My trip to nowhere (check out the pic!). Hopping in the car and heading towards the mountains to reconnect with my inner self, destination unknown.
  2. Reading with my daughter and getting lost in the books story.  *sigh, smile*
  3. My daughters first date.  *sweetness*
  4. Crisp air, blue skies and sunshine.  *heaven on earth*
  5. The rescue of the Chilean miners *tears* – what a miracle.
  6. Listening to my husband talk about his fishing trip.  *peace*
  7. Family dinners at the kitchen table.  *connection*
  8. Writing…

What can you do this week to connect with your inner self?
Write, exercise, meditate, sing out loud, journal, read, sleep, ???

Sunday Grateful 8 ~ 10.10.10

I’m back to posting Sunday’s grateful 8, my weekly gratitude list. As I take a deep breath (care to take one with me) and reflect, it’s been an emotional week. Howeva, I find the corners of my mouth rise… I smile. Even in the midst of pain I’ve always been able to see, locate, feel gratitude and pleasure. This week I’m grateful for…

  1. SunnyThree fun (playful), crazy (fence jumping), chewed (my favorite gold wedges) and loving (compassionate – oh his eyes) years with our beloved Sundance. We will miss you Sunny!
  2. Writing a blog post (after a dry spell)! Permanent Pleasure, did you see it?
  3. A night out with friends to see comedian Jim Gaffigan – laughed non-stop.
  4. Met up with an awesome new coach, Christy Lambert, to discuss her idea of a Gratitude workshop – one of my favorite things!! Loved meeting her in person. Now we are creating a Gratitude tele-class for November!!
  5. Having the pleasure of working with a group of phenomenal women in my Expose Yourself teleclass.
  6. Being featured in Jessica Steward’s Admiration Society – I’m still without words because I so admire her!! Feel honored JS!
  7. My daughters and their friends – I love the conversations we have about pre-teen and teen life. Young girls are such a gift. I feel fortunate to have open discussions with my daughters and son. (oops, that’s kind of 2 but i am only counting it as 1 – because i make my own rules)
  8. Cleaning out drawers, closets, cars… it’s amazing what opens up creatively when I create more space.

Grateful? Share one (or more) thing(s) on your gratitude list, comment below!!